Tuesday, April 12, 2016

SCHOOL TESTING


This spring, I received the voluminous results of a huge barrage of testing for my son G’s three-year evaluation for his IEP (Individualized Education Plan). Among many, many, many other outcomes, I was informed that G had scored under the first percentile in “Irony.”

Although we have had him on a strict Monty Python/Austin Powers program for some time, and the kid has a fantastic sense of humor, we realize that perhaps he may well be lacking in “Irony.” Like many individuals who don’t fit the typical “norms” or test “average” in many areas,   G excels (sometimes extraordinarily) in some areas and is less skilled (sometimes remarkably so) in others.

In my experience, these sorts of test results – lower than expected, very uneven - are actually “normal” for many people on the autism spectrum, people with ADHD, people with sensory processing differences, people who are neurodivergent and/or disabled and/or differently-abled and/or quirky and/or don’t care about testing...

Just once, though, I’d like to receive some test results along the following lines:


Dear Dr. Full Spectrum Mama,

Here are our test results for your accepted-just-as-he-is child.

G scored in the 70th percentile for “Telling Bad Jokes.” Although we found that his jokes were generally pretty lame, and noted, significantly, that he was almost always the only one laughing at said jokes, his score was slightly lower because he at times did in fact stop telling jokes, especially when asked to “stop repeating that joke which we have already heard seven times.” Still, this is a respectable “Telling Bad Jokes” score, and something he should feel good about.

We noted several areas of growth. G’s “Confidence in the Face of a Lot of Really Daunting Obstacles” outcome has improved by 50 percentage points – to the 88th percentile - since he was last evaluated in his former school where he was getting bullied. Also improved were his ratings in “Zipping Pants” (up by 20, to 61st percentile), “Blowing Nose Rather Than Just Letting Snot Drip Down” (up by 15, to 56th), and “Overall Executive Function” (up by 3, to 4th).

His “Amazing Metaphorical/Metaphysical Insights Not Necessarily Appreciated by Peers but Mind-Blowing for Adults” score remains very high (92nd percentile), as corroborated by many of his teachers in the narrative portion of the evaluation; while the closely-related “Willingness to Write It Down According to Assignment, Dangit” score remains alarmingly low (5th percentile).  

We would also like to raise some concerns around the fact that G’s “Remembering School Stuff” score of 8th percentile does not seem to match his remarkable achievements in the areas of “Remembering How Many Days I Have Been Dating ___ “ (98th percentile), or “Remembering the Tiniest Details About Every Pokemon, Ever” (99th percentile) -  even with a 10 percent margin of error.

His IEP should reflect the need for accommodation in the former area, yet also take into account the possibility that G may have an asymmetrical range of priorities specific to his own...priorities.

Some of his strongest scores were in “Wonderfulness” (85th percentile; this score was mitigated by “Teenage Rote Sullenness” [45th]); “Interest in Girls” (98th percentile; this test is administered according to self-reported sexual preference and controls for Trying-to-act-like-you-are-not-thinking-about-____-All.The.Time); and “Thinking About Pokemon” (90th percentile; down nine points from previous score - possibly offset by “Interest in Girls”). “Knowing the Names of Pixies, David Bowie, Nirvana, and Red Hot Chili Peppers Songs,” at 65th percentile, was also solidly above average. 

He should continue to build on these strengths.

Although he scored just above average in “Teenage Boy Flatulence” (58th %ile), when measured against the general population G’s gassiness was easily in the top 10%.

Most importantly, for being unfailingly kind and polite (even thankful!) to our extensive testing staff, and for countless other reasons, G scored off the charts (above the 99th %ile!) in “Being Himself.”

Congratulations,
The Testing People



Love,
Full Spectrum Mama





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18 comments:

  1. Hahaha, love it! We just had our Tri too. HATE it. Feels so raw and invasive, does NOT sum up my child and misses SO much! Your test is WAY Better! :)

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    1. THANKS! Maybe we can get it instituted nationally. I am sure other parents would contribute to the rubric ;)
      Love,
      FSM

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    2. I love this because the foolishness of the average (mediocre) being normal is by definition absurd. The whole system is set up for people like me to score high. If we were being measured on "survival ability in the Artic or Rainforest" or "Ability to sew, knit or brocade" or "consume snails or pigs ears" I'd be in deep trouble.

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  2. LOVED this. It made me laugh out loud, while also brimming with insights. I know I will think of this every time I get one of those maddening evaluations. Thank you -
    mf

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    1. Oh I sure hope so. We need whatever we can get to buttress ourselves against some of this stuff - however well-intentioned...
      LOVE,
      mffsm

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  3. Absolutely LOVED this am bookmarking it! You had me at Monty Python!

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  4. I love this for all the reasons mentioned above in the other comments, but I also love how well you know your child. Building on strengths is where it is at!!

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    1. Thank you so much, for reading and for your kind words.
      Love,
      FSM

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  5. Wow, this is amazing!! Our 3-year was brutal this time around. The evaluator just didn't seem to love our easily lovable kid--there's no need to stretch to find his abundant great qualities. We won't use her again, but if we did, I'd give her this!

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    1. I'm so sorry to hear that. Our previous three-year was nightmarish and terrible and disconcerting (I've written about it here and there in the blog; suffice to say people almost lost their jobs it got so contentious...) but this one went relatively extremely "well "...(I mean, it's always grueling. Now you have some time to breathe before the next - but here's hoping it goes much better, for you And your lovable one.
      Thanks and love,
      FSM

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  6. LOL, you're freaking HILARIOUS!!! I love me some sarcasm bundled with joy. Your love for him shines through the prism of humor, which is so important and healthy. I love how you bundled his strengths with the things that drive you nuts, like "Willingness to Write It Down According to Assignment, Dangit". I can totally relate :-D Much love, Tania

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    1. Thanks so very much for reading. I don't think I was ever funny until this whole mothering thing...and then it was either laugh or cry, y'know?
      Love,
      FSM

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  7. OMG. I'm literally laughing OUT LOUD! This is a great post... and a letter any mother would be thrilled to receive :)

    Jennifer @ The Jenny Evolution

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    1. THANK YOU!!!!
      You know that every once in awhile when you feel really good about your own stuff? This was one of these for me, I mention conceitedly...
      For that very reason - I want this letter !!
      Love,
      FSM

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  8. Catching on the hop now. Love this. That is all I can say. Oh, and thank you.

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    1. I'm in that space now...waaaaaaay behind. You go!
      And thank YOU!

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